Book Review: The Bible

According to Guinness World Records, the Bible is the best-selling book of all times with over 5 billion copies sold. It’s also one of most studied texts in the world. In 2022, I set myself the challenge to read it in one year, it took me two.

I’m not going to lie; it was a bit of a head scratcher for me, and it surprised me in more ways than one. Here I must caveat that I'm not an expert or a theologist. I’m simply someone who decided to read it in order to better understand the religion I grew up with as a child and still practice to a level today.

WHY AM I REVIEWING IT HERE:

The idea that one man, Jesus, has done something so radical that it significantly influenced the course of history really intrigued me. 2024 years later we still talk about him; our calendar is still divided by before and after his death; and his teachings have influenced some of the major religions in the world to date.

I’m reviewing it here because it took me two years to read it in full and I want to talk about it as a book I read. It’s, after all, a book.

BOOK SPECS:

Number of pages: 1,408 pages of actual Biblical text.

Format: Hardcover

Version: New International Version (NIV)

Genre: Religion, Action, Crime, Historical Romance, History, Family Drama

Tropes: Too many to list here

Interesting Facts:

• The Bible is not one book. It's actually a collection of books and letters, an anthology if you will.

• It's believed to have been written by over 40 authors over a period of approximately 1,500 years.

• Its stories cover approximately 6,000 years of history, recounting past events and narrating events while they were happening - although there are different opinions on this.

• The Bible is not in chronological order. Many of the books overlap and tell the same stories from a different point of view.

• It has been heavily edited over the years and there are multiple versions, including different translations and even different types altogether. The Catholic Bible has 73 books, the Ethiopian Orthodox Bible has 81, and the Protestant Bible (the one I read) has 66 books.

• The original version was written in three languages: Greek, Aramaic and Hebrew. So whatever version you read, it’s a translation and, therefore, an interpretation of the original.

SHORT REVIEW:

I’m giving the Bible this rating because it’s a hard book to read. Some of the teachings are phenomenal but overall, if you’re reading this book to learn, you will walk away with more questions than answers; and if you are a Christian wanting to grow, you might need a lot of support to understand it. I have a whole list of questions I will be researching in the future, not that I think I will ever understand it fully, or get an answer to all my questions.

So, the million-dollar question is… Would I recommend you read this book?

If you want a head scratcher and you’re up for doing some research… Yes.

If you call yourself a Christian… Definitely.

If you just want something to inspire you to be a nicer/better person… I would focus on the book of Matthew.

HEART SCORE:

SMUT SCORE:

Buy the version I read on Amazon

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FULL REVIEW:

Plot

Rather you’re into romance, conspiracy, thrillers, crime, history, self-help or fantasy, there is a little bit of everything in the Bible, even a little bit of SMUT. Yes, you read that right. There are some pretty romantic and steamy scenes in the Holy Bible if you know how to read in between the lines. Check Song of Songs chapter 2 if you don't believe me.

If you are into romance novels like I am, you might enjoy the Biblical books of Ruth, Esther and Song of Songs.

If you are into conspiracy, murder and action, you might enjoy Exodus, Joshua, I & II Samuel and Esther.

If you like history… Numbers, Judges, I & II Kings, I & II Chronicles and Ezra might rock your boat.

If fantasy is your bag, Genesis, Ezekiel, Daniel and Revelations will sound quite fantastical.

And if you’re into self-help and enlightenment, Proverbs, Matthew and James might be interesting.

In terms of plot, there are that many stories and so much history in its a thousand plus pages that, from a storytelling perspective, it’s a really interesting book. The most intriguing thing for me was to read it as an adult and to realise that the understanding I had of these stories was actually really naïve and childlike.

Characters

The same goes for my understanding of its famous and infamous characters. I always remember David as a wise and faithful king. But David was also a soldier who struggled with PTSD and fell in love with people he shouldn’t have fallen for. I was taught Solomon was a wise king, one of the wisest men to exist. But he also had a midlife crisis and struggled with losing his faith. Paul was the biggest evangelist, risking his life and dying for his faith. But he also saw marriage as something you did just to curb your sexual needs, despite his ministry being heavily funded and supported by women of means, who he praised in one of his letters. I have also always understood Jesus to be a saint of almost no human quality. But as I read the Bible, I got to know him as a man who had frustrations, occasionally lost his patience, and had very close friends who he loved and even gave nicknames to.

It was very humbling to see these perceived saints as regular people, who just fought for what they believed in and wanted to inspire others and strive to be and behave better.

It was also interesting to realise how much of a maverick Jesus really was. The early church would be considered a cult by today’s standards. But in his time, he really shifted things. Rather you believe his teachings or not, you still know of him. And even if you don’t believe his story or follow any religion, you have to admit that the effect he had on our history is quite impressive. The only other markers that come close in terms of worldwide historical effect seem to be the I and II World Wars for complete different and much more negative reasons.

Romance & Smut Score

I will repeat, there are some pretty romantic and steamy scenes in the Holy Bible if you know how to read in between the lines. Check Song of Songs chapter 2 if you don't believe me. In the book of Ruth, she pretty much seduces Boaz. If you ask me, it wasn't his feet she was rubbing. Just saying.

And if you want romance, Esther was a regular girl that later married the Prince of Persia. And he was so in love with her that when she bust into his court unannounced (punishable by death to a woman back then) he chose to come to her and ask what was wrong. Boaz, after being seduced by Ruth, schemed his way around the traditions to marry her. David had an affair with his army general's wife, than had to kill the dude when she got pregnant so she wouldn't suffer the consequences of the affair. Her son later became King Solomon.

Writing

Having said all that, the Bible is not an easy book to read. It took me twice the time I thought it would. There were many reasons for that, the main one being that it was written in a different era and my history context was really poor. And the second being that some of it was just hard to understand. There were also things that I didn’t expect to find in the Bible, and details that I had completely missed in my earlier encounters and learnings of this text. There are too many to list here, but it suffices to say that I quickly understood why alternative narratives and convenient spins are so easy to come by.

TIPS FOR READING THE BIBLE

With the above in mind, here are some resources you might find helpful if you’re brave enough to take the plunge:

• The Bible Project– explains the books in a bitesize manner and adds some context.

• Bible Society – offers a lot of resources to support your reading of the Bible.

• Religious Perspectives on Jesus – Wikipedia also proved really good at filling in the historical and cultural gaps.

• Monte Mader - this woman knows her Bible and she really challenges you to follow the actual commandments not to paraphrase them for your convenience. Needless to say, I'm a big fan.

While reading it though, follow the advice the Bible itself gives you: “test them all; hold on to what is good, reject every kind of evil.” I Thessalonians 5:21-22 and “whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.” Philippians 4:8